Black Angus Found Smothered To Death In Cheese

Unhealthy eating habits are an affliction of our society.  Fast food joints bombard us in our homes with their relentless TV adds  during commercial breaks.  Showing us mouth watering, savory dishes that make us drool. 

                                      We are doomed!

  It is the restaurant's business to make money.  To do this they have to sell food and lots of it. Their goal is to turn every thin, healthy  person into a walking blob of fat.  And...once they have succeeded in turning you in to a unrecognizable, fat  blob, what do they do next???   They want to make even more money off of you by by enticing you with so called new and  healthy menus. 

 Of course this is all marketing tactics.  Do they think we're stupid? 

They ask themselves in their marketing meetings, why are all those fat ass blobs no longer eating our food?   Then it dawns on them.   Oh,  they are so... fat they can't get out of their homes and  they are dieting to lose the weight.  The weight those fast food places worked so...very hard to get you to gain.   They want you fat, and happy with change left after you purchase  your meal.   They come up with a plan.


In marches the new cow...the Angus beef bearing cow.

   Yes,  what's different about this cow, this beef?   It is leaner and much healthier for you so they say.   Finally some good news on the fight against obesity.  So you would think.



The fast food industry has upped their game.    They have recognized the error of their ways.   Now they switch gears and go into   ' healthy' mode.   Fast foods/ healthy....isn't that an oxymoron?   
Well if it's healthy,  I'll eat it... Oxymoron beef or Angus, makes no difference to me.


At a recent visit to Arby's, the young lady at the counter greets me with... Hello, would you like to try one of our new Angus beef sandwiches?   After straining my eyes trying to read the menu with the description of the new ( #7 The Ultimate Angus Sandwich), I finally  asked her... What is the difference between the Angus beef sandwich and the regular Arby's plain beef sandwich?   She politely and with much enthusiasm  says.....Oh,  the Angus beef is so... so.... much leaner and healthier for you.  OK, I said...give me that healthy Angus beef.  The employees almost broke out in applause congratulating me on my decision to eat healthy.


Proud that I had chosen the healthy Angus over my usual unhealthy plain Arby's beef sandwich.  Which  never really tasted like any beef I have eaten from the butcher.   I always  harbored the suspicion  it was made like Mc Nuggets.... you know,  they put all the animal parts together grind, cook, chill and cut out or slice pieces and call it real meat.   But I like it!   And I love me some Spam too.   So don't be dis-in these culinary delights til you try them. 

  Ok, back to my dining experience.

I sit down and eagerly  unwrap my wonderfully healthy sandwich.  Can't tell much form the outside and there is not a thick sandwich like my regular beef I usually choose. 

  The first bite really should be the best.   Not with this sandwich.   I couldn't chew it for some reason, there was something thick and hard on it.  I pulled it from my mouth and was horrified.    On my napkin lays this fatty, hard, salty slab of a bacon slice.  BACON!   Where the hell does bacon fit into the healthy sandwich thing?    I rid my sandwich of the rest of this unhealthy evil meat and take my next bite...knowing that this would be the much anticipated, ultimate Angus beef moment I had been waiting for.  SALT!   Why is there so much salt on this 'healthy sandwich'?   That's it I can't eat it.   It was so salty you could have left this thing out for a week and bacteria wouldn't have even looked at it.  

  I gathered up my uneaten remains of The Ultimate Angus sandwich and told the girl in a very nice tone.   Hon,  this sandwich is way too salty for me;  I don't know why that  is?    And what came out of her very sweet but naive mouth bemused me.    She says....in an ever so polite voice,  oh, it's probably the creamy Parmesan spread.  It's the third cheese we put on it.    That's what makes the sandwich....The Ultimate Angus 3 cheese and bacon.   THE EXTRA, creamy third cheese makes this sandwich!   

  WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY 'HEALTHY ANGUS BEEF'.    I KNOW.....WHAT HAPPENED TO IT.    IT DIED A SLOW DEATH BETWEEN THE THIRD CHEESE!              


Get your glasses out and read the ingredients folks.  These places are trying to kill us with ' Healthy stuff'